Male Sexuality: Feeling Trapped

It is not uncommon for men to feel trapped in their own life, especially not when it comes to either identifying or discovering new aspects in their sexuality. And getting out of the trap may not always be easy, especially not if your spouse is not open to this. Simply because getting out of the trap - which is not (although frequently identified as) the same as a mid-life crisis - may bring about some drastic shifts in your life. For both of you, actually.

The most blatent example is the situation where a married men "suddenly" discovers he is either gay or bisxual. This is neither sudden, nor a discovery, but in fact the men in question making room in his head for other, new ideas that he may have suppressed (conciously or not) for a long time. And this does not exactly happen in the area of sexual inclination - but also in other sexually related areas, such as discovering or identifying BDSM-emotions, crossdressing or simply discovering that there are other women as well and that there may be room in your life (and heart) for more than one.

This "life trap" - which is a very typical MALE thing - is something that has not attracted a lot of attention yet. However, it is fair to say that it can be compared to the situationof the woman who, after having raised children, wants to return to an active economic or social life and finds she's way behind in many developments and may not be able to do what she actually wants as a result of previous choices in life (this has as little to do with the meno-pause as the male trap has to do with mid-life crisis, even though all these events may happen more or less in the same period in your life). Both men and women will not be able to escape the trap without dramatic choices in their lives.

It doesn't always have to be dramatic - largely depending on your personal situation. Quite a few people "escape" the trap as a result of other changes in their lives, such as finding a new role and destiny in life though being grandparents, or picking up the study you always wanted to do, or career changes, which - especially for men - are likely to happen between 40 and 50. If you are eligeable for a top-management or board position, it will be around that age. To others however it will be a problem, especially if the trap either is directly related to your sexuality or has a large impact on it.

The strong defense wall

From the male point of view - which is what we are talking about here - the first thing you are likely to run into, is the HUGE defense wall your partner will build up, especially when the "trap" has sexual implecations. Most men, even trying to discuss such subjects, at some point, will have heard the "I am not good enough" argument at some point - and frequently more than once. In lots of cases that and the sound of a slamming front door will also be the last thing they hear, because that is where the relationship ends.

While the men feels he's (trying to be) honest about himself, his partner will feel betrayed and frequently "dumped" and communication is difficult if not entirely impossibe - for a long while and possibly forever. And since the "trap" is not something that has so far been identified very well, finding help or solutions is next to impossible. The two of you will have to sort it out by yourself, one way or another.

This is the time when "affairs" start to happen or when "the internet" comes in - secret virtual meetings in chat rooms, in Internet clubs and many other fora. No, we emphasize it again, THIS IS NOT MID-LIFE CRISIS! It is feeling trapped in your own choices that may not always have been your own and it has nothing to do with hormonal changes or the fact that you are losing hair or virility - even though all that may happen at the same time. The life of most men simply is a long chain of compromizes and choices hat were right at the time but that may turn against him later. Carreer choices, partner choices, financial choices and many others. His prime - self-imposed as a result of social programming - responsibility has always been making money, building and - even more importantly - supporting his family and now that he has done all that he feels he has lost old friends and missed opportunities and discovers that there is more to life than a carreer, financial security and a family to support. His first girlfriend starts to haunt his dreams again, together with old ideas, fishing or hiking trips, the good old sports days and frequently (if he has such a background) the "happy days with his buddies in the army"). All of that of course in a happy and rosy-red perspective.

Looking for footholds

What he is doing is looking for footholds. A combination of three - very important - things:

1. (re)assurance of his choices

2. openings for new possibilities

3. (re)inventing himself

And while he feels alone (since probably no-one will (re)assure him when it comes to his life choices), he feels trapped by the situation he is in - unable to leave his relationship (because he BOTH cannot without severe consequences and probably does not want to), unable to leave his carreer (again because of servere personal and economic consequences and probably not just for himself), physically unable to pick things he used to do (because he's out of condition) and unable to make room for himself (because of the many social, economical and family obligations AND the defense wall).

So, what to do? He'll look for footholds. He eventually probably WILL make room for himself and to him that neither feels like betrayal nor as weakness. In fact, it is very likely he will feel this as an important achievement (in other words the "room" may be cheating on his wife, but it doesn't feel like cheating, it feels like well-deserved personal space).

It doesn't make any sense - if the "trap" is sexually related, regardless in what way - to come up with solutions like: take up a hobby, find an education or go have a beer with your friends. And he isn't exactly Al Bundy either. He feels trapped and wants himself and the trap(s) to be taken seriously, quite often regardless the consequences (in other words: divorce).

The long and painful road

But it gets worse. The trap will become a trap by itself. Hardly any man WANTS a divorce, because it goes against everything he has been taught, everything that has been implanted and as a result anything he (thinks he) stands for. To the vast majority of men divorce equals (self)betrayal. So now that he identified the fact that he feels trapped and tries to find a way out or at least discuss it and find understanding, the trap in itself becomes a new, extra trap.

The only way out - except for the drastic methods, such as divorce - is through a long and painful process of communication. A process that is painful and difficult for both partners - however, also inevitable. If he feels trapped, there will be pain (either the pain of the divorce, the pain of a drastic carreer change or the pain of the communication itself). There is no way to avoid it - if the trap is there: face it!

Is there any general advice? No, not much - except maybe the assumption that the one-on-one, ever lasting, happy couple situation is probably not for everybody. In fact, modern divorce statistics show that the "happily ever after" are in fact a minority and may soon be reduced to a "happy few". On top of that - a lot of aspects of modern society (technological changes, the economic rat race, double income families, the information-overflow and such) only come on top of that and the 1960-slogan "Stop the world, I want to get off" is probably more accurate than ever before.

At the same time: the "traditional relationship" (which in fact isn't that "traditional" at all, but merely an invention that is only 100 years old) is rapidly replaced by a multitude of relationships: gay, lesbian, non-married couples, poly-armory, living groups, deliberate singles, you name it. Meaning that when it comes to the view of what "a relationship" should be is probably (quite rapidly) changing. Some sociologists even argue that the baby-boomers and former hippies only now start to build the type of relationships the stood for back in the 1960s and 70s. Only history will tell if they are right or wrong. Fact is that there are changes and that, if you feel trapped, you'll probably have to do something about it.

Hans Meijer, a Dutch former journalist and government spokesmen, is the chairman for the Powerotics Foundation. This organisation is dedicated to provide quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Exercises To Jump Higher-How To Double Your Vertical Leap

There are many vertical jump programs out there. However only a few actually seem to really help players jump substantially higher. Retailers sell jumping machines, jump shoes, etc, and athletes use them with various degrees of success. However, if you really want to jump much higher, these options are not the answer. Exercises at home is actually much more effective than going to a gym and using a jump machine, for several reasons.

First of all, you only have a limited time to exercise with the equipment, due to the other users in the gym, and often have to endure long waits. Also, the machines have not proven all that effective in increasing athletes' vertical jump.

Then there are jump shoes. These always seem to help athletes jump much higher at first, when they just starting using them. This is due to the fact that the shoes are very heavy, and actually trick the muscles into thinking they are stronger than they really are. Therefore, when one first starts doing exercises with them, they see dramatic results. These soon slow down and, once an athlete stops using the shoes, dissipate altogether.

The really effective programs utilize every jumping muscle to absolutely skyrocket the vertical jump. Jump machines and jump shoes only target a select few. Every muscle needs to be targeted to truly see dramatic results. There are several programs that have been extremely effective in increasing one's vertical leap. If you really want to jump higher, I would highly recommend checking out this one in particular.

Also, while vertical jump exercises are certainly important, that's not all there is to it. One often overlooked variable than will greatly increase your results the quickest is proper nutrition. Most athletes overlook this simple but extremely important factor in their performance. Nutrition plays a huge role in high you jump and your quickness and overall energy level. Fortunately, this program explains that as well.

To sum it up, there are many jump programs out there, but only a few that have proven very effective. If you really want to jump higher, this one in particular is the way to go. It covers all the basics, exercises every muscle important to jumping, and provides an excellent nutrition plan. Work hard, and you very well may double your vertical leap.

Josh Neumann is a vertical leap expert, and you can visit his site at http://www.Increase-Vertical-Leap.com to learn more.

Tennis Clothes - A Revolution in Style

Tennis clothes have changed drastically in style, fabric, and color over the last 100 years. The first lawn tennis players in England wore formal attire when playing. Standard tennis clothes for women were full-length dresses. Men wore long pants and formal, long sleeve shirts. The tennis clothes of both men and women were entirely white in color. Contrast this formal style with the tennis clothes worn by the tennis players of today. Modern tennis players favor synthetic fabrics, more athletic clothing styles, and a greater variety of colors.

The evolution of tennis clothes has mirrored the changes in everyday fashion. For example, male tennis players in the 1970s and 1980s favored short, tight-fitting shorts and traditional polo shirts. In the late 1990s and 2000s, male tennis players began to wear larger, looser shorts and more casual shirts. In addition, female tennis players of the 1970s and 1980s favored traditional tennis clothes with an updated style. Popular clothing included shortened tennis skirts and dresses. Todays women tennis players wear a variety of tennis clothes, ranging from tennis skirts and dresses to shorts and t-shirts. While tennis players still wear white at more traditional clubs (e.g. Wimbledon), there is a much larger variety of colors in modern tennis clothes.

Another factor contributing to the evolution of tennis clothes is the increased athleticism in the modern game. Tennis is now a high intensity sport, requiring tremendous physical effort and exertion. Tennis players must be able to run, cut, jump, and twist all while executing precise tennis strokes to hit a ball often moving at high speeds. Consequently, comfort is a major concern of players. Modern tennis players prefer tennis clothes that are lightweight, fit well, repel moisture, and are generally comfortable. Tennis clothes that keep the body cool and dry can help players counteract the physical toll that playing tennis, especially in hot weather, can exact.

Advances in clothing technology have also contributed to the evolution of tennis clothes. For years, cotton was the fabric of choice for tennis clothes. In the last few years, however, many tennis apparel makers have introduced garments made of new, synthetic fibers. Tennis clothes made of these synthetic fibers help remove sweat from the skin and clothing by wicking moisture away from the body. Examples of these clothing technologies are Adidass ClimaCool brand and Nikes Dri-FIT. Most professional tennis players and many recreational tennis players now wear tennis clothes made with these new technologies because they keep them cooler and drier than traditional tennis wear.

In conclusion, tennis clothes have seen many changes over the years. While tennis clothes maintain some of their formality and traditional style, modern tennis players value comfort and individual style over tradition. Increased athleticism, advances in technology, and changes in general fashion have greatly affected the tennis clothing industry. In addition, breaking from their traditional roots, tennis clothes have become a medium for personal expression of individual style and important pieces of equipment in an increasingly physical sport.

For more information on tennis try visiting http://www.TennisQuestions.com, a website that specializes in providing tennis related tips, advice and resources to include information on the best tennis clothes.

Alopecia Hair Loss- Answers To Frequently Asked Questions

According to some estimates, two persons out of every hundred suffer with some form of alopecia hair loss. The condition can range in gravity from small bald patches, to complete hair loss on the scalp to total loss of body hair altogether.

This simple fact sheet answers the main questions people have regarding alopecia hair loss:

Just what is a simple, complete definition of alopecia hair loss?

First let's get the pronunciation right. The four syllables are pronounced al-oh-PEE-shah with emphasis on the third syllable PEE.

Miriam Webster's dictionary gives the following definition: loss of hair, wool, or feathers. It obviously can effect other creatures apart from humans!

However, in humans a good definition would be: partial or complete hair loss.

The condition is commonly referred to by it's full title: alopecia areata with additional words describing the severity or area affected:

• Monolocularis: Any single bald spot on the head
• Multilocularis: Multiple bald spots on the head
• Barbae: Bald patches only on the beard
• Totalis: Hair loss on the whole head and scalp
• Universalis: Total loss of all body hair

How does a person get Alopecia hair loss?

This condition is not limited to a particular segment of the population. It can affect males and females of all ages and races.

Heredity can play a role it appears, as 20% of individuals with the condition have family members who suffer with alopecia hair loss.

However, it is unlikely children inherit the condition from their parents. Statistics show that the majority of children with alopecia hair loss did not have parents who suffered with it. Conversely, the majority of parents with the condition did not have children who suffered with it.

Alopecia hair loss is an autoimmune disease which can be triggered by a virus or some other agent in the environment causing the body's protective white blood cells to mistakenly attack the cells that grow in the hair follicle to make hair.

The condition is not contagious!

The big question - Will hair grow back?

This varies from person to person. Here is a sampling of how different individuals are affected:

• Hair regrows but falls out again
• Hair loss is limited to a few patches, it regrows and never falls out again
• Hair is lost and then regrows with this sequence repeating itself over many years
• In the majority of cases, the hair that regrows is the same color as the hair that was lost
• In a few cases, the hair that regrows is white but then gradually regains its original color

It can be seen from this review that the effects of alopecia hair loss are quite unpredictable.

So what is the remedy for alopecia hair loss?

Scientists are still grappling with trying to find a satisfactory treatment for alopecia hair loss. A variety of drugs are currently used which can have a positive effect on hair growth, although there is no ideal solution at this time. These include:

• Minoxidil or Rogaine, an FDA approved drug for treating male and female pattern hair loss
• Corticosteroids - strong drugs used to suppress the immune system

An excellent support organization for alopecia hair loss sufferers is the National Alopecia Areata Foundation. Their stated mission is to: "support research to find a cure or acceptable treatment for alopecia areata, to support those with the disease, and to educate the public about alopecia areata." You can check out their support network on their web site naaf.org

There are various ways of coping with the changes in appearance, depending of course on how severe the condition is. These include using scarves, hats, jewelry, clothing, and cosmetics to camouflage the effects of alopecia hair loss.

The National Alopecia Areata Foundation has a network and message board system putting sufferers in touch with each other where they can exchange ideas and suggestions.

Mike Jones is a writer and webmaster with over 10 years experience. His recommendation:

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